Warning: this blog contains the f-word several times, starting in the third paragraph. If that offends you, please do not read on. For the record, I have a huge vocabulary and a very high IQ. There are times when only the f-word will do.
So, we’re nearly at the end of the month. For those who are doing Dry January, that first g’n’t or glass of wine for a month is now in sight. Yay! Happy days 😊 But what about the rest of your New Year’s resolutions? No booze in January is a breeze compared to some of the resolutions people come up with!
As you’ll know, most resolutions are doomed to failure, for all sorts of reasons which is why I stepped off that particular treadmill a while ago and now use the Christmas break to reflect and think about what I can let go. I look at all of those things on my to-do list. What doesn’t need to be on there now? Realistically, will I ever get round to doing that online course I bought for a tenner 3 years ago, never started but which keeps coming up on Wunderlist and weighs on my mind? I think about all the shoulds and oughts that are like a millstone around my neck: networking groups I should try, stuff I feel I ought to be doing because, you know, everybody else is, films and plays I ‘must’ see, books I really need to read, acquaintances I will never truly think of as friends but who nevertheless take up a lot of energy and drain me, clients who should be moving on. And I sift and sort and make some decisions about who and what belong in my life now.
In his book Getting Things Done, David Allen suggests having a ‘someday, maybe’ file for those great ideas you have, and things you would like to do at some vague point in the future. I find this idea really helpful, and do have all sorts of things in my ‘someday, maybe’ folder. Again, I go through it and cull the daftest ideas, laughing at myself and wondering what on earth I was thinking. But my favourite tool is my fuck it list, where I put the ‘shoulds’ and the ‘oughts’ that aren’t right for me, the stuff that’s going on that won’t bring me joy and those unhelpful patterns of thought and behaviour that creep in and catch me unawares. This is when working with my coach is particularly helpful to me. I need someone to challenge the assumptions I’m living under and suggest different ways of thinking and being that will be more helpful and productive.
So, take a pen, list everything that’s on your mind and then move all of these over to your fuck it list:
- Anything that doesn’t bring you joy, or enhance your life in some way,
- Anything or anyone that leads you to believe you’re failing or useless or somehow inadequate,
- Anything that causes you to feel stuck,
- Anything you’re doing because someone else told you that you should be doing it,
- Anything that’s been hanging around for more than a few months: if you haven’t started it yet you probably never will.
- Anything that doesn’t resonate with you or feel authentic
Once they’re on your fuck-it list find a way to let them go. Some will be easy to ditch, some will be harder. Start with a couple of easy ones to get into the swing of things then work your way through the list. You’ll start to feel freer, less overloaded and, yes, more confident. Life really is too short so don’t clog it up with stuff that doesn’t matter.
If this resonated and you would like a free, 45 minute session to help you put your list together or action the things on there just email me and tell me why you would like me to coach you through it. On 28 February 2018 I’ll pick the 3 people I think I can help most and email them to arrange a free session.