A while ago I was at a business meeting and noticed that someone who was normally full of motivation and energy seemed a bit flat and not like his usual self. But I just carried on as usual and thought no more of it.
I saw him a few weeks later and he seemed a bit less energetic and motivated and, to be honest, didn’t look very well. Again, I just carried on doing my thing and didn’t say anything.
Another few weeks later he looked ill and totally demotivated. So I asked if he was OK and told him he should take better care of himself, maybe stop working so hard. I remember wagging my finger at him and making a joke of it. That was because I was slightly concerned he would think I was nagging, interfering or that I should mind my own business and I needed an out. But I just felt I had to say something. So I did. And we had a few more conversations after that.
It turned out he had been having a really hard time. You can read his story here.
We all assume people are OK because they’re busy, lively, successful, outgoing, just seem sorted etc etc. But the truth is that they may well not be OK.
If your intuition tells you something is off with someone or if you think someone doesn’t look themselves, or right, or well, or OK or whatever you want to call it ask them about it. Offer a bit of support, a kind word or just ask if they’re OK. It really can make a difference.
Many of us don’t like asking for help but all of us want to help when asked. So make the offer – you never how glad somebody will be. The perfect question? ‘How can I help you?’
And if you would like some help please just ask. The perfect question? ‘Can I talk to you?’