There are 3 little words that can really make you miserable. Yet we use them all the time, often to beat ourselves up. They are should, must and ought. I bet you sometimes find yourself thinking or saying something like: • I should go to the gym more often.• I must sort out my [whatever… [Read more]
Some of my favourite feedback
The good things clients say…. A client just said something that I will add to my list of all-time favourite comments: I had a great time working with you. I always try to make my sessions fun. It’s not always possible of course but you can often work hard, do some very effective coaching and… [Read more]
Manage your mind reading.
How to stop yourself making another classic thinking error. Can you read minds? Do you know what other people are thinking? You might guess, but do you know? Of course you don’t. You can’t, unless they tell you. Even then you have to trust that they’re telling you the truth. Mind reading is a classic… [Read more]
Why over-generalising makes you miserable.
How a classic thinking error can trip you up and what to do about it. When things aren’t going well do you ever think or talk about ‘them’ or ‘they’? Do ‘they’ ‘always’ do negative stuff? Do ‘they’ ‘never’ do positive stuff? Congratulations, you’re making a classic thinking error. Thinking errors, or cognitive distortions, are… [Read more]
A change in emphasis for 2021
When I started coaching we were always taught to draw a clear line between coaching and therapy. It was drummed into us that we are coaches, not therapists or counsellors. In coaching the assumption is always that the client is mentally healthy and willing and able to focus on achieving future goals. If they’re not, then… [Read more]
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